Guru's Goat: If only life was really like this...

Picture the scene. It`s Sunday 17th April 2008 and Ipswich Town are hosting Norwich City in the derby at Portman Road. Goals from Dion Dublin, Darren Huckerby and Chris Brown (yes, that Chris Brown) give the Canaries a well deserved 3-0 victory over their old rivals to tie up the Championship title and promotion to the Premier League.

Have I been taking something I shouldn`t? Well I did have a headache on Monday and didn`t wait the full four hours between doses of ibuprofen but apart from that no I`m clean, man. I`ve just been back playing on my Xbox 360 during most of my spare time lately and that was the joyous occasion I celebrated earlier in the week.

Sat on the sofa with Charlie on my lap (he`s our dog - I told you I`m clean, man) I know it`s only a game - and it really is this time - it`s not like when Mrs. Guru uses those evil words in an effort to comfort me after a defeat (not that we`ve seen one of those for a while thanks to Sir Glenn Roeder) - but I still find myself leaping up and punching the air in delight at trouncing the "enemy" to win the league.

The dog looked a little perplexed in response to the subsequent "Premier League, at Portman Road" song to say the least but I don`t care I enjoyed it, and City are back in the big-time.

Granted there were no open-top bus journeys through the city to enjoy and for some reason no trophy presentations but it was exciting all the same.

I mean, we even had a cup run! A cup run people! We made the fifth round of the FA Cup where we lost out to Bolton (after extra time) and it took Chelsea to knock us out of the FA Cup in the quarter final.

Over the summer the squad is strengthened by precisely zero new signings, but I did manage to persuade Dion and Hucks to stay on for another year each so have a go Glenn it might work!

First game of the Premier League season that follows sees the mighty Yellows travel to the Emirates Stadium to face Arsenal. The team struggles for long periods but a break away and a Darel Russell strike kicks-off the 2008/2009 campaign in the best possible style.

I`m not a geek or anything (quite clearly) but I often think the world would be a better place if football was more like it was in video games, don`t you agree?

There`s still plenty of realism despite my shock win at the Emirates - Derby are rubbish for example - but it`s so much more innocent and fun. It`s the way football should be. Played.

It depends on the game of course, and I really don`t want to be dragged in to the whole "this game is better than that game is better than that genre etc" debate that has been had a thousand times before but I will confirm that I was always a die-hard Pro Evolution Soccer fan until this season and leave it there - but at least you don`t need to worry about agents or clubs trying to "tap up" your players in video games.

Gone are the suggestions of a 39th Premier League match (which even Sepp Blatter thinks is a bad idea, and he`s the one who suggested the World Cup be played on artificial pitches in 2010 for goodness sake).

You don`t need to think about misbehaving players during pre-season trips to Malaga either. Or WAGs. Or what time you need to leave home if you`re going to make a midday kick-off at Ninian Park.

There is something undeniably genius about seeing little digitized versions of our Canary favourites (even if some of them like Ched Evans don`t exist), and it never fails to tickle me that Wayne Rooney doesn`t look quite as hairy as he does in real-life and Carlos Tevez looks even more like an extra from the Wesley Snipes film "Blade". It`s great.

And then there`s Football Manager. Good lord no, I can`t go there…

Good Luck Bates

Back in the room and it was a shame to see Matthew Bates need to return to Middlesbrough following yet another serious knee injury. Three major surgeries in eighteen months is an awful lot to deal with for anyone let alone someone so young, so I hope he makes a full recovery.

As the saying goes though one man`s loss is another man`s gain but what it does mean of course is we are now short of cover at right-back once again. Overall Jon Otsemobor has impressed me this season but I do think he has probably suffered somewhat from not having any meaningful competition for his place - just look at what it did for Lee Croft.

Predictions

If you read last week`s "Goat" (and why wouldn`t you have done?) you`ll know that I made a few predictions on how I thought the rest of the season would pan-out.

I went for a draw at Cardiff and a win for the Canaries against Hull City so a four point haul overall, which is exactly what we got (even if the results were the wrong way around).

Leicester away this weekend and although I doubt we`ll see much pretty flee-flowing football at the Walkers Stadium (have you seen the state of the pitch?) I predict a win for the Yellows. In fact if my predictions are correct we won`t see the side drop another point between now and the trip to Vicarage Road to face Watford on Tuesday 4th March.

That would be nice wouldn`t it?

OTBC